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6 Tips for Successful Gentlemanly Online Dating. Tell someone that youve dabbled in online dating and they might give you a look like theyre thinking about which letter of the alphabet would be most appropriate to give you in scarlet. But really, with the dawn of dating websites, Tinder, and the endless cycle of clones that come out almost daily, meeting someone from the internet is as common as meeting a stranger at a bar at least for Generation Y.
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So for those of us single folks who havent yet made the jump into this new internet trend (or have just dipped our toes in), here are a few ways you can give online dating a try while staying a gentleman. 1. Dont Misrepresent Yourself. So maybe you were a football or track star in high school and now youre a few years removed and about twenty pounds heavier leave those varsity pictures where they belong (in a shoebox!), and upload something more recent. While meeting people and dating shouldnt be all about vanity, you dont want someones first thought upon meeting you to be, Whoa, he looks nothing like his pictures. Not only is it insanely distracting, but its starting the potential relationship with dishonesty rather than trust. This also goes for exaggerating, or outright lying, when it comes to your job, education, or anything you find yourself tempted to say to get a meeting in person. I guarantee if they find out you tricked them, they will assume everything youve said was a lie. And this isnt to say that if youre overweight, dont bother. Dating sites have huge audiences, so youll find every stripe and color of person you could possibly imagine, and by misrepresenting yourself, you could be missing out on the people who like you for who you actually are. But on that note, not everyone on the other end will be honest with themselves, so 2. Temper Your Own Expectations. While getting catfished, or tricked into falling for people who lie about everything (right down to using someone elses pictures), seems to be the common assumption about meeting someone from the internet, its really not that common. It does happen though. This is why you should try to use the internet as a means of meeting people, and use subsequent in-person dates to get to know them . You arent meeting someone with the intent of going ring shopping if things go well. While dating sites have plenty of attractive and very successful people, not everyone will look exactly like their pictures. While Im not saying you should be expecting a man in a wig to show up, you should kind of automatically assume that their pictures were old or edited, or at the least, something that shows their very best light. Not that thats always the case, but just keep in mind that you can never truly know someone you havent talked to in the flesh. 3. Take the Lead in Conversation. Maybe you had an incredible conversation online with someone whom you decide to meet, and then they barely say a word. Meeting a stranger is always awkward, and online dating, especially, lends itself to folks who are shy in social situations. So you would probably be doing yourself a favor if you just lead the conversation (if you dont know how, study this tutorial), or simply just deal with the awkward first date and see if either one of you would like a much less awkward second date, remember that it often takes 3 encounters to really know if you click with someone. 4. Accept Rejection. Does this seem like common sense? Because I have never been more embarrassed on a date than when I hear horror stories from the woman about other men shes met online. And really, most of it comes about as a result of rejection. While the theory behind matching someone is that you are both mutually interested in each other, that does not mean you are halfway to dating. If a girl says No when you ask them on a date, take it in stride, and then move on. Sadly, this isnt what many men do. You can find an endless supply of screenshots online from women who were having a normal conversation with a guy, and when she says shes not interested, he suddenly drops about every dirty word you can call a woman in the next message. This tip also applies when someone flat out doesnt respond. If you try to start a conversation and get nothing in return, dont leave twenty more messages or take it personally. Maybe they dont check it that often, deleted the app from their phone, or just arent interested. Thats life. Just be thankful it happened with a stranger from the internet rather than someone you approached at the bar. The problem is that talking to people digitally really dehumanizes them. We lose track that its a person on the other end just like us, and we say things we would never say in person, bad or not, and so we throw out the common unwritten rules of socializing. This is also why its better to meet people as soon as both of you are comfortable, so you can put a human to the picture. 5. Stay on the Date, At Least for a Little While. When you finally do meet in person, its important to be as polite as possible, even if they look nothing like the image you had in your head. Ive literally shown up on a date and only found out when I got there that the person was weeks away from giving birth. I didnt leave or sneak off to the bathroom, but I stayed and had about an hour-long conversation, not because Im a saint, but because I could not imagine someone telling me to meet them and then just never showing up. Most importantly, you can never be worse off for simply knowing someone.
online dating etiquette 2016
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